The hardest lessons I have ever had to learn

As most of this blog's readers know, we have had a few awful weeks. This post is not about the bad things though... I wanted to write about the few positive things I have learnt during the worst six weeks of my life:

I am the lucky one in my marriage

Sham has been a rock... He has taken charge, organised, planned, consoled, explained and dealt with everything and everyone so I haven't had to. And he has done all this while he was processing and grieving our loss too.

I will only ever be as strong as the people around me

The strength I have been given by Sham, my mum and the family and friends who have been checking in on me almost daily will never be forgotten. 

I might feel lonely, but I have never felt alone

I have been completely overwhelmed by the love of family and friends near and far. The lunches / coffees / walks, the flowers,  the messages of support, the sharing of stories and secrets and the offers of help (and baked goods and haircuts) have shown me how distance is irrelevant and that support comes in many forms, but means the world. I have had seen kindness in people that I have been amazed by - sometimes from virtual strangers.

I have a strength I never knew I had

If someone had told me two months ago what was coming, I would have said that there was no way I would survive this... but I have. I am still having some incredibly low days, but I am also having some good days. And it is those good days that keep me hoping.

I am lucky to be living where I do, when I do
We will always be thankful that we were in a position to be able to have a choice. We hate that we had to make it, but we feel lucky to be living in a country that supports people who have gone through this. I will continue to try and practice the live-and-let-live attitude I was raised with, but I will now appreciate personal choice in a way that I have never fully understood.

There is nothing anyone can say to make it better...

... But thank you for trying. Knowing you are looking for the right words is enough.

As we start living life as it is now, these are the things we will hold onto - we will never take "normal" for granted and we will always be grateful for what we have while we grieve for what we have lost.